after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
