the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
