A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
