first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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