i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
