you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
