Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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