Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
