You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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