She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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