Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
