It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
