I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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