May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
