Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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