no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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