Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
