Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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