i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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