DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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