I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Found your dick twin last night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
