Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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