u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
