I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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