ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
