your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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