I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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