3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize