i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
