i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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