it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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