it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
