What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
