I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Screwed.edu
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
