is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
high people should be assigned attendants
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
