Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
