Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
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I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
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My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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