If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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