So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
