All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
