so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
