I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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