Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
