he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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