mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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