like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
