chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
