There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
