So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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