the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
