He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
