Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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