Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
