I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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