is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize