You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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