i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
