Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
