3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
