People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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