hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I smell stomach acid.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
