Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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