come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
